Family Therapy
As parents, we all have such high expectations of ourselves.
Let’s take a step back and ask: How reasonable is that… really?
Have you EVER been the parent of a first-born-18-year-old-son?
Have you ever been the parent of a second child who is a 16-year-old girl?
Are you an expert in sending off your baby to be married?
Of course not. Yet somehow, we expect we should have this all figured out!
You’re doing the best you can.
You probably can’t help but ask yourself sometimes, though…
Is it enough?
Am I putting my kids above my spouse, or my spouse above my kids?
Am I too strict about social media, or not strict enough?
Am I giving my kids the tools they need to become independent, or am I expecting too much?
Am I providing the right consequences?
Are we handling family conflict, or is there a better way?
Take a step back with me, and let’s slow down for a bit.
It’s difficult to see what’s going on when we live at warp speed. Let’s ask ourselves…
What’s working… and what isn’t?
Communication styles, performance expectations, meeting individual needs, meeting family needs, family quality time, personal me time… there are many dynamics at play in family relationships that affect overall family health.
In therapy, we don’t just look at what’s “wrong,” we’ll also look at what is going well so that we can incorporate those strengths into other areas.
What patterns are you in?
Family members tend to take on roles, such as “caretaker” or “troublemaker.” Is there a good cop/bad cop dynamic? How does each person in the family define the role of the others?
Often awareness of our family roles helps us become more intentional about those roles that work or make needed adjustments when the roles are lopsided or unhelpful.
Where do the conversations or situations always take a hard left?
Schooling expectations, discipline approaches, teenagers wanting more freedom, even sleep schedules can create constant conflict when both sides don’t agree.
Therapy can bring everyone on board… and working together.
Everything each person does, or doesn’t do, affects everyone else in a family. You can’t sail a ship very well if everyone’s not manning their post and making constant tiny adjustments as needed.
Together, we’ll practice ways to identify your personal needs – all the while connecting them to the needs of everyone else. You’ll have time to lay out your feelings and be validated. I don’t take sides.
You and your family will learn to communicate in a way that serves each member’s needs while at the same time serving those of the family unit.
We’ll identify other ways in which even small adjustments can help the family recalibrate to find a balance that works. “Growing pains” are inevitable as our children develop their own lives and their meaning of the world, but those challenges don’t have to sink your ship.
Here are some of the family issues I can help with…
Teenagers
The mood swings. The demands and expectations. The absence of reason. Oh, the joys! You were a teenager once, but you are certain you weren’t this difficult.
Can’t they see you just want the best for them? You know all the places they can make mistakes and how pivotal those mistakes can be. It seems time is slipping away, and the pressure is on.
You want desperately to understand, to connect. While they might not act like it on the outside, they want to connect, too.
Blended Families
You’re a single mom, dating a single dad. You have kids.
What do they think about you dating? Should you be concerned with what they think? What are the things you should consider before blending families?
If your families are already blended… there will be challenges ahead. How do you get everyone on board?
Adult Children
College-age kids: They’re on their own now. Yet somehow not. They’re off at school and doing their own thing. bBt when they come home it is still your house, your domain – which creates instant conflict.
Adult children: “Independent” on paper, but your adult children keep making adolescent mistakes. How much do you pull back? Do you jump in and help yet again, or do you let them fail?
Married children: Ah, in-laws. The in-laws have their views, their ways. Whether you’re the “adult child” and the issue is your spouse’s family or it’s your son’s new wife, it feels as though you’re one wrong word away from a battle.
Single Moms
Whether through divorce, separation, or your spouse’s death, you find yourself on your own.
Of course, you knew being a mom wasn’t going to be EASY. But you didn’t know that doing it on your own would be an entirely different universe – a whole new world of things you never knew you had to be prepared for:
In-laws… suddenly against you.
The kid’s dad… doing his own thing despite the agreements you’ve made.
Your boss… who doesn’t care that you have to be three places at the same time.
The expenses… how many school field trips are you going to have to whip out the checkbook for? How many times can you replace a dropped phone?
Free time for yourself… HA!! That’s one fantasy you wish for every time you see a falling star!
Let’s gear up for smooth sailing!
I can help you and your family thrive in the midst of the change and the chaos!
As kids, we might have experienced sibling rivalry or family turmoil, so it can seem quite “normal.” This may have been normal in the past; but if it doesn’t feel right to you, it’s time to make some changes!
Let me help you create a “normal” that works for everyone in the family!
Contact me today to schedule a free 20-minute consultation:
(904) 469-0060 or book your appointment below: